Flashback Friday: ZZ Top “Tush”

There I was, slaving over a Gary Rhodes shepherd’s pie recipe when all of a sudden the DJ Boba Fett “BAd BReaks” mixtape I was listening to threw up a monumental blast from the past, which always makes me stop and smile.

SPOILER ALERT – Turn that mad mix of music and mayhem OFF when the dialogue turns unfamiliar; you really don’t want to know what happens next via a bloody mixtape.

The track in quzztop41 fuzzy guitarsestion was ZZ Top’s “Tush”. (Play it LOUD. You know you want to)

I do raise my head out of the Disco nosebag from time to time.

In fact, my formative years (16 – 25) were spent watching all manner of rock’n’rollin bands in some of Sydney’s best and worst establishments. I just about managed to ride the tail end of the Sydney pub rock scene right on into the Hordern Pavillion “Acid House” parties. But that’s not the blast to which I refer ….

No, as I recall, “Tush” was last played (nay, BLARED OUT) of my old friend Rurbler’s hotted up Holden Commodore. No biggie, except we weren’t on solid ground. We were on snow, with no chains, no traction and toggling disasterously between life and death: either crashing into the hard shoulder or veering perilously close to the edge of the road, which dropped away somewhat, being the Perisher ski fields and all.

“Slip Sliding Away” would have been more appropriate soundtrack, but Rurbler sure did love his ZZ. Didn’t we all?

We, being the car crammed full of teenaged passengers, screamed for all we worth. Demanded to be let out of the car; to slow down. But it was no good. Rurbler was having too much fun smokin’ and ridin’ that trail home to Jindabyne like a big ol’ steer at a rodeo. Being teenagers, we accepted that this could be our last hurrah and added our voices to that unholiest of choirs full throttle; equal parts terror and delight:

Lord, take me downtown, I’m just lookin’ for some tush.

*BIG sigh*

Back to the pie.

 

“Tush”

I been up, I been down.
Take my word, my way around.
I ain’t askin’ for much.
I said, Lord, take me downtown,
I’m just lookin’ for some tush.
I been bad, I been good,
Dallas, Texas, Hollywood.
I ain’t askin’ for much.
I said, Lord, take me downtown,
I’m just lookin’ for some tush.
Take me back way back home,
not by myself, not alone.
I ain’t askin’ for much.
I said, Lord, take me downtown,
I’m just lookin’ for some tush.
(Learn the words; they come in handy when in peril)
Advertisements

Mother Nurture: Whatsa matter you … D&G?

If anything, this latest BOO HOO of some super-duper celebrities highlights just how damaging the speed of the internet can be.

There is a very interesting book out on that very subject: “So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed” by Jon Ronson. More of that later ….

vogue italiaIf the contentious ideals of la famiglia normale espoused by D&G had been written up in a 1970s Vogue article – then the comments would have been read by Sirelton and David on the patio with breakfast and tut-tutted in private, the Vogue possibly ending up in the bin and retrieved, and binned and retrieved and binned and ….(projecting my own approach there). So what’s all the fuss about?

dehumanisationActually, D&G have managed to insult every child conceived by IVF by labelling them “synthetic” – a more dehumanising term I cannot think of. Dehumanisation is a slippery slope, as we all know #Harmondsworth #Woomera .

Here’s a secret admission: I used to think IVF was tampering with Mother Nature too. Yes, I did know it was a lot of people’s only hope to conceive but still, I thought, can’t those people just adopt a child in need?

I guess, I didn’t know anything about a) parenting (I mean, what’s so great about having kids?) or b) how bloody difficult it is to actually get the chance to even adopt a child. I did have the good sense to keep those opinions to myself – and not rush to the nearest loud haler (a device used to blow your own horn before email! I’m a survivor of ye olde days).

Not so, one of my lecturers at university. She stated right out of the blue in the middle of a tutorial:

“I think IVF is immoral.”

I was stunned,  as she was the original Earth Mother figure. I never did get to the bottom of this outburst but I think it had something to do with gender-selection when promoting a viable embryo. If so, there is a point to be made there too. But then, I’m pro-choice when it comes to abortion – so I think those two arguments cancel each other out?

IVF

Now that I have children, I get it. Smarter people than me got it before having children – or at least those with an urge to nurture. David & Sirelton obvie have a very strong urge to nurture and so went down the IVF route (twice) like so many others before them. Why not them?

elton david familyAccording to D&G, it’s because science is involved in the creation of life and because mother nature made David & Sirelton gay – so they’re not actually supposed to have a family because they won’t be able to be proper parents (and if they do, then it’s not a “real” family anyway). Che cretinata!!

Having utilised science to save my own life (chemo / radiotherapy etc) – it would then be a gross hypocrisy for me to deny science to others to bring life about. I mean, Cancer is nature’s way to thin out the population (some would argue) why fight it? Hmmm …..

popeMamma Mia! Aren’t D&G just a product of their own environment?: heavily catholic* older generation Italy, with a traditional view on family.   *Not all catholics agree with D&G and I’m not slating that religion (Mum, I’m looking at you), but I’m fairly sure the Pope agrees with D&G on this one matter, so there’s that.

In their rather ‘more of the same / shame’ follow up comment – supposedly to counter the slapped gauntlet of Sirelton on the call to ban D&G goods (not on my shopping list to begin with Sirelton but I feel your passion on the subject), D&G helpfully clarified further:

You don’t go to to the greengrocer for his views on IVF. You go because his produce is the freshest” Dolce and/or Gabbana

or words to that effect. My italian is rusty.

rusty italian

Gather ’round D&G, let’s settle down with one of Ye Olde Vortex’s tales from the Maelstrom: Once upon a time in suburban Surrey, England, I overhead the little cafe owner comment that the lady sitting outside his coffee-joint must have been “a jew” as she was rolling her own cigarettes. Needless to say, and in spite of the fact that he was the only person to serve molto bene Illy coffee in a 10 mile radius, I gave his cafe a wide berth in eterno – and I let friends know about it too.  So Dolce (or Gabbana) I do go to my greengrocer for her views on IVF. I think most of us do?

Si or no?

Nipple

iced-belgian-breakfast-bun-topped-cherry-isolated-white-background-43362921

Even the word makes you wonder if this is a post about porn, doesn’t it?

Spending the past year and a half without a nipple has presented very few problems. Oh sure, one half of me lights up when I’m freezing my tits off on a cold morning school run, whilst the other is, er, “no comment,” or “I’m not feeling the cold at all today” or just plain “don’t look at me! the other side is doing all the talking.” (the lack of nipple didn’t slow me down at all, is my point) And yet ….. I just had to get it back. The joy of symmetry.

Some people take issue with a visible nipple; either “essence of nipple” under clothing (aka lady lumps) or god forbid in plain sight …. on a woman. Shall I illustrate?

becks

salma hayak

But if Salma follows suit? Wahey! Aye Carumba! Ow, Ow, Ow, Wahoooooooooo (you get the idea)

regular show monkey white

Now here’s a funny thing: This here is “Skips” from the Regular Show (a kids cartoon which is hilarious). He’s allowed to show his big red comedy nipples to kids on TV because he is a male-cartoon.

Apologies to all expecting me to unearth an hilarious femme-cartoon equivalent; I searched high and low (for at least 3 minutes) for a cartoon monkey in a bra – but guess what? Apparently that is a step too far.

Lady Gorilla

In the meantime, you will have to visualise the kind of garb the poor cartoon female monkey has to wear whilst her male counterpart struts around with his nips on show. Here’s something to help that mental image along: Talk about game! Not sure the eyeshadow was necessary? (apologies to my sister and all kindred spirits who find primates in human clothing offensive – I’m pretty sure this snap is ‘shopped. No animals were actually pampered in pursuit of this image).

Back to me and my NIPPLE …

janet jackson nipple

Damn! I spent good money on that nipple; Imma call Janet Jackson for some pointers on how to stage a malfunction.  Janet doesn’t cower from her shame, she has a little microphone in her cleavage for boob-crooning. Stunning metalwork! Brava!

Justin is the mummified one on this occasion and he’s taking a mental note: No room for more than one boob at Superbowl.

eggs sunny side up

If you’ve had a nipple reconstruction and would like to share – please, be my guest! If you just have the two (or more?!) nipples from birth, and would like to discuss them, then by all means – you too are welcome here! (no photos).

A final word: Here is an interesting article by my colleagues over at the New Yorker on their own “Nipplegate” affair. It seems The Face Book is similarly prudish when it comes to dots on a page (otherwise they would have called it The Nipplebook, which, owing to the origins of Facebook, probably isn’t too far off the truth).

http://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/bob-mankoff/nipplegate